Dark Poetry Prose Poetry August 26, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

8-26-03 tuesday 8:20am brick NJ

the things we want. and those that we believe we can have. the lives we haunt. can't help it when you're a ghost.

i did this. made it all complicated with just a little help from you. i exploded. lost my restraint with a little spark from.

what do i want. from you. from anyone. not much. not what you'd expect. what do i want doesn't cross my mind much. other than in the context of learning to accept.

what do i want. it doesn't matter. i don't care. don't ask. don't ask like you can, knowing that you can't.

what do you want. that's the question. what makes you think this field is greener when you know it's not. what makes you wander that much further knowing you might get lost.

for sex and passion there is a place that is totally separate from the paths you've been trying to create. for lust and craving there is a room where none of those other things have a voice. choose.

use it if you can. love it if you must. just don't ask me what i want. because it's taken too long to forget. what do you want. that's the question. because you still might be able to have it yet.

8-26-03 tuesday 9pm brick NJ

scratch the hours into your skin. melancholy dramas putting age into your reflection.

drown the pages in sorrow's ink. filling your life with all the reasons it doesn't want you.

kiss me once. then kiss me again. bomerang emotions can be thrown quite far and still return to their point of origin.

pour the words into my heart. mix the drugs. happiness and sorrow combining in a puddle of mud.

what can i give? what can i take? nothing it seems now that we've erased the slate.

pull down the blinds. coax the shadows. touches only just memory now. feelings without a place. hellos without their goodbyes.

if i wish that i was someone different, but it never comes to be. if i wish that we'd never met it's only because this will hurt you. and hurt me.

alone never listens when you try to tell it what has happened. it just sits there looking like you're oldest friend, but unwilling to comfort. refusing to defend.

alone never really exists without the lack of something wanted. or needed i guess. alone is just a symptom of love. just like all those sad moments life is conprised of.

i'm waiting, but i'm not. i wanting, but i'm always trying to stop. i'm lost there in the space we must maintain. one lonesome bit of saltwater among a million waves.

8-26-03 tuesday 10:15am brick NJ

tender and dark like a
cloud about to rain,
there are places in a friend
they should never question.

leave the secrets to sleep,
leave the pain in its basement,
don't go down there again,
or i'll have to call it a trespass
and you'll be forbidden to
go anywhere in this life again.

8-26-03 tuesday 5:18pm brick NJ

end these days quick like a song without a fade.
stop the music. i don't want to live.
unplug the amplifiers. cuz no one listens.
delete the chorus.
i can't sing it anymore.

lonesome as a single small
boat all alone on the vast oceans.
hopeless as the last leaf in autumn
when all the rest have already fallen.

don't catch me.
don't rake me up.
just wait for the first snowfall
to bury.