Dark Poetry Prose Poetry September 13, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

09-13-04 monday 9:32pm

gradually night begins shifting towards the sun again. in vigorous repetition the days, the months, the years all move forward. dragging us behind them by the wrists like fitful children.

how soon is now. how far is then. it's so hard to ask myself these questions knowing i'll never be able to answer them.

it's where i've been that makes me wonder how it's possible that tomorrow could ever be any different.

i don't need the touch of anyone except myself. don't need a reason to wake up. i've lived this long without one.

just lick the concrete. wear the mud. when it's always raining it happens often.

just want to close my eyes. never blink again. not see. not hear. like bleeding skies as the sun begins to set. fill the sky with my pain and watch the darkness erase.

gradually i watch it happen. seeds that become blades of grass poking from the sand. gradually i watch it grow in my heart like that.

then as slow as that process is even more slowly they tear it up. stalk by stalk. one at a time they pull it all up until again everything is barren.

monday 09-13-04 10:30pm

i guess she's nobody really when you look at her that way. just someone who looks at you now and then when she feels like complaining. just someone you used to know, but now is a stranger. like all those memories you once had of her that dry up like so much rain after a heavy downpour.

i guess no one really is anyone other than when they sit with themselves like this. so painfully aware of their existence.

i'll bet everyone does that now and then. stares at themselves from the outside in imaging they're the only snowflake in this blizzard.

11pm 09-13-04 monday

so lay. lay down all over yourself. be your own blanket. cuz you're tired and it's cold. and there's no one else.

read your life in the words you've set aside. inscriptions in flesh.

come forward. face tomorrow. tell it you never loved it. and you never can. that you'll never be friends. always enemies until the war has ended.

lay down. lay yourself in your skin. like an afghan hand knit by the life you have lived. lay down. into yourself. and mend the holes people have made in it.

don't ask yourself. don't wonder if. just lay. lay down in your life and absorb. absorb all it's been.

because the future is uncertain. and the past in permanent. and where we are now is all that there is.

moving slow like clouds seem to. high above persepctive belies their progress. distance makes everything look like it's moving slower. but it isn't. distance makes everything look smaller, but it's not. come forward. move closer. you'll see it's the same as it always been.