Dark Poetry Prose Poetry September 15, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

7:27am 9-15-04 wednesday

how many years does it take until you're old enough. wise enough not to feel the ache. the chill of naked nights as morning breezes in. the sour taste of expired loves.

what if after we had lived our lifetimes, we then would have to live them again. in reverse. from the end to the beginning. and we couldn't change a thing, but we'd always know what would happen.

if we knew this. if we knew this from the start would we have done anything different.

09-15-04 wednesday 9:12pm

burn the night away. suck it between your lips. filling your breath with the poisons it possesses. burn your heart away. to ashes. inhale deep and let it fill you with all that sweet cancer.

what i don't need i want. and what i want i don't need. some helpless paradox that's lost between staying awake and falling asleep.

nothing really ends, we just pause the playback. life is a movie. life is the fiction we write as we live. not lies. just plots. plots misconceived. and theaters. theater full of people who've paid good money to be entertained.

nothing ever ends. it just lingers in your head. smoke on barroom ceilings. polluting every breath.

think of me. as they all do. think of me like someone deceased that you once knew. contact the ghost now and then. see how well i am haunting the life i've refused.

chase the clock. like it's a rabbit and we are dogs. isn't that really all we are. sprinting viciously after a prize that isn't even real. running. chasing. because we're so eager and there's nothing else to want.

don't push me. don't make me think more than i meant to. just leave me to my circle. and i'll leave yours to you.

09-15-04 11:55pm wednesday

i'll see you then. whenever that is. it's like some fairy tale place where everything suddenly makes senese.

if only it actually existed.

grow your dreams like roses. ignoring every thorn. plant your life like a garden. and repress the smell of the manure.

i'll see you all then. when time forgets us and we overtake these limitations. if ever flesh should give way to higher purposes. or if not, well, well you can't say i didn't try. can't say i didn't imagine. just that no one else did.

i was dead long before now. just no one noticed. i didn't want them to. only hoped they would forget.

there's so much time to do the things you shouldn't do. so many ways to abuse. it's hard to be strong. harder now since. there are so many way to forget. why would i choose to remember.