Dark Poetry January 5, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

01-05-04 wednesday 10:06pm

i lit another cigarette as i sat dumbfounded as to what there could be to say next. i watched as the tide on the beer receded. and wondered if if would ever rise again. rise high enough to drown me in it.

i thought. why are winter days always the longest. given that, in fact, they are not. there's something about that early darkness confuses my mind. makes me think i haven't worked hard enough. that i've fallen behind and i can't ever catch up.

i looked at the folder on my harddrive. so new. 2005. and thought how can i be putting files in there. how long will it go on. how long til i dare.

and all those that came before. carefully named after each of those years. cluttered and bursting with the seeds of thoughts i've yet to plant.

every night i watch the tide receding in those heavy bottles that i tote upstairs. if they are the ocean. i am the sand. steadily being swallowed up in their grasp.

i played another game. half way through. thinking it could change how i felt. or distract me from noticing.

but my lips always want. and my blood constantly urges. and my heart. it's always been lost.

01-05-04 wednesday 11:08pm

so much that it feels like nothing now. living just to breathe.

time multiplies and i am divided.

maybe i was once, but no anymore.

that face in the mirror tries to be,

but you remember too much.

only tarnished silver black. as the night you were stranded with it.

emcompassing wrist then with so much age. so much lost time in its grip.

just the hammer that turned that metal into your wear. not asked for, but taken just the same.

and time corroding as it will. every thoght. every precious gift.