Dark Poetry Prose Poetry January 23, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

01-23-04 friday 9pm brick NJ

turn in your rendered clouds. see how they compare to the real thing. walk on your fabricated ground. see if it can hold your weight when your so full of misgivings.

yesterday is just a place i visited. scrapbook lives paste cut out pictures on blank pages. and the friends we said we should've been had other plans. a gentle rain became a flood. and though i can swim still i can find no land i trust. though it almost didn't happen. almost was just a dream and then we woke up. it was all too real when the flood waters turned red with my blood.

i can't even say. how much it's hurt to see you leave it this way. i won't. never could trust you. and now i know why. now i know i was right.

catch your raindrops while life steadily moves on. like a freight train it drives onward endlessly. turn your wrists until those handcuffs fit. your hands may be tied, but the rest of you isn't.

01-23-04 friday 10pm Brick NJ

teach your lies to speak as if they are truthful. polish them like diamond rings. placing them upon fingers all too eager to believe something is worhtwhile. but honestly, nothing is. and no one does. building your caskets out of theri promises. because that's all they were. just dead wod.

tabulating in your mind all the way that you were deceived. taken. and even knowing that you would be, still proceeding with. it's lonely on the outskirts of life. sometimes even a lie is better than nothing.

i just wanted to be someone. someone besides this ghost that i am. i just wanted to be felt. like flesh is. alive and electric. just wanted to be beaten. like hearts do. that bittersweet rhythm of life and death repeating. i guess i was. if ionly for a moent. if only because.

all of a sudden it happened. life did. and now i'm sorry that i asked because i wish i could forget it. forget you. and return to life before life ever was.

if you could i know you still wouldn't. and i really wouldn't want you to. it wasn't the beginning. wasn't te end. just something to do between them. and i won't be your friend when you come asking. that is, if you ever really meant. though i doubt it. i won't be. i can't. because there's been too much deception. and trust was never something i could give to you.

open the links. might as well. because the chain is broken. throw your frailty to the wind and hope that it doesn't come back at you. because sometimes the end is all there is. it's such a long process. so tempting to hold onto it. especially when .

hello takes but a second and goodbye can last indefinitely. but not this time. not like this.

i'm too sad to pretend that your my friend. too hurt to care if i mght offend. i'm too lonely now to wait for when, if ever you find the time to. all these years happened before i knew you. and after i don't they'll still keep happening. and those nights we spent could've meant something, but to look at us now you'd never know they did.