Dark Poetry Prose Poetry January 26, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

1-26-03 sunday 9pm brick NJ

maybe i'm too old now for thinking tomorrow might be better. i've always been waiting on the never they threaten is on its way. but it never happens. tomorrow sinks its fangs into my veins every morning and the venom never kills me. it just makes everything strange and uneasy. it just makes me feel like dying, but i still don't. maybe it's just a trick of chemicals in my brain taking advantage of a damaged soul. but no one can ever tell me why they want to be alive. no one has a reason to live. and there are so many reasons to die.

i could keep right on drinking until the sunrise puts me to bed. i could just for the sake of it. just because there's nothing better left to do. too old to wish for things i know can never be. and too soon yet to slit my wrists.

if i could really know what love is. why it attaches itself at the strangest moments. or why it sucks every last breath of life out a heart when it there's nothing on the other end. if i could know what love really is maybe then i could combat it. maybe then i could convince it that it has no place in this life. that for all the love i could ever feel or give no one's ever going to return it. if only i could know what love is, maybe then i could get rid of it.