Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 7, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

2-07-03 friday 9:42pm brick NJ

how do you know when you've lived? that it's just enough now where you can die without regret. not that you might want to, but that you could. if you really needed to.

just one more night and then. the snow will melt. my heart will burst like the chorus from a long bridge. just tonight and then tomorrow will be so different. my heart will screech like a violin. to a halt. then, never again.

i am a poet. sometimes dramatic. but human moreso. the words constantly change, but they cannot change who i am. i'm a poet, but a human much more. this heart aches. and the poet finds the words for. but the human just wants what it still doesn't have. the poet takes the pain and fills pages. but the human just continues to ache.

if i am wrong in purpose then i will submit to my mistake. but i want what i want. and i only want what needs me. if this is the pinnacle then i'm ready to descend. if we've reached the apex then i'm ready to jump. it'd be so easy if not for you. it'd be so easy to swallow the wind and take the ground in. it could've been so easy. but you would never hear of it. it could've been so many things, but now it's just this. this verge of nothingness. i'm always almost gone, but then that shadow you cast lands in my vision. and i can't.

i used to say maybe tomorrow or the next. but those words no longer expect. i used to wonder when, but now i just wonder why not. i don't have a reason to offer you. but what reason not to have you got?

i guess the end that i'd expected came much too sudden. barely did i notice until it occured to me that the end was all we had. that i'd been playing that same song the whole time. i just wasn't really listening until now.