Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 7, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

02-07-05 10:16pm monday

am i moved by. or moving this. perfect circles spin my eyes as i look upon memories. moments gone, but in my head still so alive.

if there's anything left to say, it would only be this. tomorrow at my backdoor. yesterday on the terrace. nevermore. and goodbye again. as so often's been said. every hello carries its weight. every embrace licks at its lips.

atrophy settles in to all those places i let darkness visit. it quickly builds a dam to hold its force inside my skin.

it becomes me. and i it. until at last i see so much better without the light. see just how litltle there is.

10pm 02-07-05 monday

sanguine clouds lapping at the sunset. as the edge of the earth winks in the distance. promising a forever we'll never live to see.

i guess nothing matters until you allow it that privilege. there's plenty of pain for sale everywhere, but no one's forcing us to buy it.

but it's such a bargain. some pleasure for some ache. and when you have no other way to pay for it, well, who would blame us for wanting to know. even if, it couldn't last.

got to feel something. anything at all. all those words that embroider themselves upon my heart need a name to call.

only then it was. and so bright. like sun against snow. three pairs of sunglasses and still you are blinded. only when it threatens so much dare you believe in the happiness. there is cost to everything. and i am willing to pay it. for the moment. for that slim chance.

never to feel as alive as you can after so much dying.

11:14pm 02-07-05 monday

nothing then, too much more. the sand loses its grip and the the ocean's on your doorstep.

so many storms that threaten. so many ways to accept. the world around you changing, though you feel unchanged by it.

freedom, that apparition in history's pages. vanishing into so many rules and regulations.

they believe it, they do, but i don't. the free world in the ground beneath us. hardly. it lives in the agendas of the wealthiest. the ideals they see fit.

look far. look wide. you'll see a whole world much less apologetic. mch less religious.

but who here wants that, just me i guess.

who here cares for freedom so much as they care for their closed minded opinions. very few it seems. or if not, they keep quiet. led by the firm hand of government.

11:42pm 02-07-05 monday

gone. in that global sense. your whole world effected. nothing the same. not ever again.

life gives in to circumstance. and who you are becomes who you think you can.

letiing go of those hopeful ideals once set. in favor of an easier life. a calmness.

nothing tends to remember itself so well. so long after. that you almost begin to believe there never was anything other than.

parachutes droping from twin egine hearts. a ltittle bit higher than they should've been flying at. but what the hell. in comparison to everything else, the ground ain't so hard.

maybe i'll be sorry. but then maybe i won't.

i never wanted forever. all i ever wanted was you.