Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 12, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

2-12-05 8:39pm saturday

turning corners on broken dimes. it's only chance. flipping quarters in my mind.

i'm an oval heart. i don't fit inside this circular world.

time leaves its indents as it struts the hallways of my life. turning the carpet that darker shade of itself as the pile is pushed in the wrong direction.

not waiting. nor looking for. tomrrow's a locked door.

not thinking back. nor wishing if. the past is a broken window. shards of glass all around it.

just now. in all its pathos. slender blades of grass bending under the weight of morning's dew.

02-12-05 9:57pm saturday

don't you think. don't you ever. that everything has disappointed. there's no reason left to try. why bother. find another life only to dig another grave.

i hear them when they talk. voices hammering my strings like striking piano keys. but i don't know. i don't recognize the song they're trying to play.

i guess it never really mattered until i let. and by then it was too late. to turn around and say i meant to do that. you can lie to yourself. but those people you let know you, they won't pretend they believe the lies you're telling them.

you can let time overtake you. streaming through your veins like some magic serum to make you not remember. you can forget. it's easy. but time won't make it any easier to let go.

when you're sitting in your chair thinking that the experience was enough. trying to convince yourself you can live without it after it's left. when you're sitting there like that, time won't help you to feel any better. it'll just laugh and say too bad.

02-12-05 10:20pm saturday

it's hard just watching. touching the screen, but nothing happens. that movie keeps right on playing.

just watching. no one looks at. while you're staring. i lower the volume, but they still can't hear me.

i press against the screen. the colors change. but nothing else does.

just watching. life happening.

not knowing how it relates to me. or if it even could.

seeing them there. lives encapsulated. planets rotating. gravity attracting.

i don't understand how i am different. not exactly.

theirs' are lives just happening. just as mine is.

so how are they so different.