Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 13, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

02-13-05 sunday 9:37pm

don't you agree? or couldn't you just try. just once listen. let something change your mind. or consider at least, that there may be no right. only shades of wrong as they radiate from dark to light.

can't i be just another someone. like all the rest. with pink painted nails and matching colored lips. dresses and gowns my faovrite clothes. and a future of a husband and kids. liking it. wanting that. fulfilled and happy by those simple acts.

why can't i be just another someone. like all the rest. content with the state of the union. and believing life is something more than just an accident.

02-13-05 sunday 10:11pm

clouds skate high up in the sky. i look up and wonder where they were before here. what other places they'll find. travelling the globe. seeing all the sizes, shapes and colors of mankind. having tea parties with sun and moon. full of crudes jokes about all the foibles and follies of all kinds of humans.

there's not always a feeling i can pinpoint in myself. sometimes it's just a lot of wide open space. it echoes my breath back at me as i sigh. and bored with it i turn my attention outward. to that vast world which surrounds.

i watch tv. the characters so psychotropic. comdey and drama in lethal doses. i listen to the songs. their purveyors whining more as the larger their bank accounts grow.

loneliness is big business. sorrow and an air of sympathy for it. can make some millions.

pain is a solid investment. everyone's in it.

2-13-05 sunday 10:51pm

it's dark when the lights are still on. floods of consciousness as memory builds its arc.let it rain. smother the world in change. i am ready for it even if i won't be able to participate.

where do they go. distance flanks the borders of your heart. taking so many prisoners. captives. to torture. to exterminate. genocide of the soul. kill all those feelings. and burn the bodies. they never deserved to live anyway.

where do they go. as i lose myself in them. forgetting how much of a threat i am. to their happiness. their fragile convictions.

i lose. not because i wanted to. but simply because i am honest.

i lose. because i let them win.

02-13-05 sunday 11:35pm

i don't want to go to sleep. only to wake up again. that same persont that i've always been. in that same world surrounding. pushing me to change beliefs i can't.

i don't want to go to sleep. not tonight. not ever. waking up in that same position. not knowing whether i should run away or try to fight the system.

of course i know. i'm old enough. we can't change the world. only stop it from changing us.

there's just a part of me that resents being pushed out of my own country. there's just a part of me that hates how unfair it is. i was born here just like everyone else. i deserve better than this. there's a part of me that wants to fight for freedom, but it's not as big as it used to be. or maybe i just know better. that we've never really been free. so what the fuck's ever going to change it.

i don't want to close my eyes. fall asleep in that bed. full of so many lies. they all close their eyes. all i want is to see what's happening, even if.

i don't want to leave. don't want to fight. i just want to be left alone. not told what is wrong. what is right. nor what gods i should worship.

i just want to have been born somewhere else. the netherlands. france. quebec.

i don't want to change the world. don't want to be changed by it.

i don't want to start a revolution. but i wish someone else would. we sure do need one.

if for no other reason. just because we've become too complacent.

who you think you're voting for. they own us. people bought and sold. cattle branded.