Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 19, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

2-19-03 wednesday brick NJ 9:16pm

don't want to ask cuz it'll only lead to bad things.

every time i write it's either too much or else not nearly enough. every character i place upon the page struggles with a purpose it cannot manage. like a dream too fuzzy nothing i can say. it's lost just like happiness these hearts once entertained.

since that first hello i've been trying to reason a goodbye. not because i want to. but because i never wanted to love you. never wanted to love at all. that doomed endeavour of this wistful heart has never proved itself worthwhile.

if sometime in your solitude a random shadow sparks your interest take a moment then to reflect on how we've been. so perfect together in our distance. so discontent in our happiness.

i keep writing toward a closure this life cannot afford. and what is closure anyway. just another way for lives to take that one thing we loved away from us. i continue writing because i've still not found the words to say. everything good that i find in you is everything i wish that i could hate. and everything bad is beautiful. everything in you is everything i love and wish that i never did. every time i think about you i die a little bit. i give away another bit of my heart to the stars asking them to grrant that wish.

even if i know. even though it's obvious. love never had any use for circumstance. and time never drew so much blood as this. but this is what my heart has chosen. it doesn't matter what comes next.