Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 23, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

02-23-05 9:20pm wednesday

one more and then. isn't that what everyone always says. cold pillow of reality where you rest your head. smother yourself in.

thought like phlegm clogging your throat. you try to cough them up. but you're too sick. they quickly replenish themselves. and you continue to choke.

forever february. forever cold. and lonely. in the midst of.

just one more and then. it sounds reasonable. almost possible if only february would end.

the grey veins of the night carry its black blood to all of its extremities. myself included. its lonely heart pumps that poison and i want it. just once more and then.

there's no telling how long your life will last. or what will occur as. like some endless car wreck. it keeps throttling me toward the windshield. tires screeching. mouth agape. voiceless. collision imminent. but still i'm floating slowly toward impact. midair. it's not the crash. it's those moments before it. that's what we'll remember long after the wounds are gone.

2-23-05 wednesday 9:36pm

don't you ever wonder why you want to live? how do you know death isn't better?

don't you ever wonder whether you're really happy or just have yourself convinced?

which is the dream and which is consciousness?

maybe none of this is real or maybe all of it is.

if it's real, that's a shame.

if it's not, that's such a waste.