Dark Poetry Prose Poetry February 25, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

2-25-03 tuesday 9:40pm brick NJ

if i was someone else. anybody other than me. if i was i know then that you could love me in all the ways you can't today. not a question of when or how or why. just whom. just me and you lapping at the puddles of love yet to dry.

and when we're old and still talking on the phone about the almosts and the should'ves. the i meant to's and the what if's. when it finally comes to that i'll try not to remember when the chance still breathed its oxygen into my flesh. i'll try not to think about when the moon would smile as we'd meet. how perfect it would feel with you inside me. because i wouldn't want to resent. and i'd hate to regret all that we've matter of facted. i'd like to stay friends. if that's what we've been. these friends that we can. i'd like to keep what we have. even if it's not all that we could've been, it's something. it's something very special just to open my eyes in the morning and know that you're still a thought that hasn't expired. that you're still a friend, even if it isn't the friend i once expected. i'll try not to remember when it hurts more than. i'll try to forget when the days lasted so long waiting for you, thinking you were coming, but you weren't. thinking you wanted to be here with me, but you didn't.

if i was someone else. well, then this would all be different. perhaps a fairy tale romance where the prince and the princess ride off into the sunset. perhaps, but unlikely. if i was anyone else i believe that then you might have loved me. like i do you. if i could've been someone else. if only. but i can't. i'm just me. but if i was someone else i might not have loved you. and then neither of us could've felt this. even if i can't. i'm glad that i was able to make it so that you did.