Dark Poetry Prose Poetry March 3, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

7:39am 03-03-04 wednesday brick NJ

why do we close our eyes when we kiss? is it because there's nothing to see or something we'd rather we didn't?

8:05pm

it backfires just like a car. every subtle detail. every thing about who you are.

it begs the questions and then becomes the answer's victim. again and again. waiting patiently on the moment that you'll turn off all sound. shut down all communication. and deal with the reality of your isolation.

let your eyes sweep over it like you're a dream skiing down the mountain of sleep. and then there in your path an evergreen. no time to avoid it. just merciless impact.

it plays hopscotch on your heart. hopping on one foot over the munbered squares. gently tossed stones land in their box and on it pounces furhter from the start.

reality. it's an easy beverage to drink, but it's hard to keep down. waste so much effort on avoiding the sour taste that you forget about preparing your stomach not to throw it up. spend so much time trying to get used to the flavor that you forget about the digestive process.

it backfires. out of nowhere. the smallest pieces give off the loudest shout.

tomorrow is a contract i never agreed to. and yesterday a lesson i would've been better without.

9:59pm wednesday 3-03-04 brick NJ

it's why glowing like the last bit of filament in a dying bulb. let darkness ensue. it's not a bad place. just that you see so much more clearly when the light is gone. it's a heavy sight.

channel your victims like a prophet. but really you always knew those things about hem.

i guess i had to die again. cause i wasn't dead enough. i think that i had to see for myself that there's nothing in this world other than regret. grief. obligations that tether. i don't want to know the reasons.

i know all that i need to. there's nothing in this world except grief. despair. regret.

i wish you well with your obligations. with your challenges. but i've my own to manage.

i can stand here at the peak of clarity and accept that life is just this. just what it's always been. i'd expect nothing better. from life. but life never misled me. you did. and life never tried to be my friend.

i don't want to hate. don't see the need in constructing cold effigies. i don't want to spend these nights wondering what happened. knowing that it doesn't mattter. it is. or always was. only time can reconcile that equation. all i know is what i've witnessed. all i have is what has been.

those reasons that you say you have for when you ring. i'd like to know them. those reasons you have for why you'd leave, well i guess i already know them. funny how they became my own. even though i have no such luxuries. strange how your world eclipsed mine.

and i know it's just life. happening as it will. too tired to love its disciples. too frustrated to be kind.

if i could find a means to hate, i wouldn't take it because hating is just the coward's way to love.

it was just life afterall. happening while we were so busy trying to extract those little pieces of it. it was just emotion believing again that it had propriety. who knows. someday it still might. but until then. i'd rather just pretend that i've died. feels like i already have.