Dark Poetry Prose Poetry March 22, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

11:50am 03-22-04 monday

a numbness spreads under my skin as i find myself staring at the prospect that nothing will ever make me happy again. and god knows how many years like this.

that even those few moments that lent themselves to the pursuit of happiness, ultimately, they only served to exacerbate the sadness.

hoeplessness spreads throughout my life like pollen. breeding and multiplying. filling my every breath. making my eyes water and clogging my head.

hopelessness - the true definition of. your life like a weed in the the grass growing, though it doesn't belong. your life like a weed they keep killing, but it keeps coming back.

hopelessness - a sudden flow of numb beneath your flesh. staring at the future and seeing only alone. life wraps its fingers round your neck and squeezes. it kills you every night, but you're a weed. every morning brings you back to life.

3-22-04 monday 8:09pm

red windows in the darkness. loneliness looking in on its tenants. collecting rents. painting their lives black again.

loneliness loads the bullets. solitude shoves its barrel down my throat. and they taunt and coerce. because only i can pull the trigger. how i wish that they could instead.

i'd rather be a moonbeam that takes the darkness and makes it beautiful. or a music note that's a part of a pretty song. i'd rather be anything other than this fetid carcass that spoils all the life that's given to it.

drums thunder like cannons. guitars speak in their strange tongues. life pours from the speakers and i can feel it, but it's foreign.

life. it feels just like a dream. so raw and crisp. so much like a dream. and then i awaken. awaken to this.