Dark Poetry Prose Poetry April 3, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

4-03-03 thursday 9:22pm brick NJ

tv eyes. just like watching yourself from the outside. remote control heart. just as easy as muting what you can't abide. friend and lover. and everything inbetween. that's what you are. everything you never meant to be. everything life hungers, but we can't feed.

i'm so much righter left to my own devices. left to my solitairy brooding and my many vices. artist's soul caught in an optimists mind. always hoping and disbelieving simultaneously.

yesterday's grin won't appease tomorrow. a chuckle and then who knows. do you know when next. we only know that it will come again. though i still don't understand how this is certain. i only know that it is.

i see your face in most every dream. i hear your voice during most every sleep. even when it's supposed to be easy it isn't. even when i know just what it is it's still hard to look at. better still than. less somehow. much better i know. distance isn't the opposition. it's a preference. and love isn't the question it's the threat. time doesn't really mend. it just teaches us how to forget. but i never want that to happen. so how do i? it comes and goes like the beach kissing the ocean. it moves like the moon through heavy summer nights. slow and uneasy. low and hugging the stars. i see your face as i close my eyes and i can't fathom why. so long. such a long road to this partial recovery. i've always kept you close to my heart, but have never known where i stand. where in your life i belong. where in your heart i am right and where i am wrong. i never could help but keep you close to my heart, but i've never known exactly what it means to you. where it comes. where it goes. how deep. how far. just now, forever or somewhere inbetween. lover. friend. everything. nothing. what is it? what do i mean?