Dark Poetry Prose Poetry April 7, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

4-07-03 9pm monday brick NJ

it's beautiful -
the snow in april,
the silence
up until;

it's beautiful -
the blood on my wrists,
the scars
on these hearts;

it's beautiful -
as beautiful is,
beautiful like insomnia
or beautiful like
a cancer victim;

it's beautiful -
the shift in wind,
the aching when
loneliness befreinds;

it's beautiful -
the promise forgotten
the broken heart
broken again;

it's beautiful
as beautiful is,
beautiful like
the empty botttles
or beautiful like dying -
beautiful like
beautiful is.

it's like the reason
why when your eyes
open in the morning
you stil get out of bed,
there's no reason you
can fathom or defend -
there's only the echo
of long ago tears
still falling your head;

it's like the way
you let your life
move through you;
the soft ground makes it
so hard to,
but there's somewhere
you have to be,
you just don't know
where it is yet;
there's somewhere
you belong,
you just haven't yet
gotten there;

it's like the sun
prying open your eyes
on one more morning -
you have no reasons
to pay for it -
you still can't afford to buy,
but you've been saving up,
one day it won't own you anymore -
you will own it.

and if beautiful turns out
to be less than it should,
if beautfiul has been lying too,
beauitful is the same
as it's alway beeen,
we're the ones who keep changing,
we're the ones stealling from
her when she's not looking;

if beautiful doesn't ever
live up to your expectations,
beautiful isn't the one to blame,
beautiful has always been just that-
whether or not we can see her,
whether or not we can afford the debt -
beautiful hasn't betrayed anyone -
if anyone has, it's us who betrayed her,
if anyone is at fault
it's our lack of resources and
distorted perceptions.
beautiful was always there
ready and willing to submit;
beautiful was always constant,
but we just couldn't see it;
beautiful never lied to us,
we just couldn't believe her,
beautiful as beautfiul is
she's not our frined -
she never claimed it,
we just wanted more
from her than she had to give,
we just took all the life in her
and drained it;

beautiful as beautiful is,
she can't change me,
beautiful as beautiful may be,
she's only as beautiful as
we can believe -
she's only as beautiful
as we can be.