Dark Poetry Prose Poetry April 8, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

04-08-05 4:38pm friday

the warning wears you. not you it. the shot just the sound you make when the ache goes off.

no more warnings needed. shoot me. til i'm riddled with your pain. no more warnings required. i stand blind folded smoking my last cigarette. fire. i'm eager to feel the sting of your weapon. the bite of your rage.

04-08-05 8:49pm friday

messages in blue. crayon colored in pages in the outlines of you. indigo and waxy. dimpled terrain from the edge of your tears to the center of your pain.

the color of what could have been. the color of your most private wishes.

the color of your heart when life becomes you. as beautiful as it ever intended. moreso.

messages in blue. moments colored in to match the way the world looks against you. how readily it contrasts and compliments your deepeest aspects.

mesages. filling in.

04-08-05 friday 10:02pm

time to change. how you see me. in that standoffish way. curdled milk trying to fool you into drinking it. compelling you to regurgitate every chunk you've consumed of me.

time to exercise my ability to tame that which within in me runs wild. with fangs made of tears. and claws sharper than my worst defeat. so red with all the wounds i've carved out of the remains.

autopsies on living. you weigh the heart. 21 grams. you crack the sternum. release the lungs. and all those breaths they held as.

you measure the moments. in centimeters. though metric is not what we are. it's just that inches. they're much too far apart.

then we sew it back up. the body as it lies there. stiff reminder of. it wasn't murder afterall. it was suicide. that is, presuming every suicide isn't really murder.

i've never had any reason to love any of them, but i'd always hoped someone might be able to offer me one.

04-08-05 friday 10:23pm

i tried to be, but i'm not. strangers as friends. lovers without love.

i tried to give, but instead i got. truth in bigger doses than i could swallow.

not. like everything i am. not theirs. not mine. not anything to want.

being. like we all are. being found. being lost. being gullible enough to think that dead ends can lead somehwere.

i tried to be, but they just told me not to bother. i couldn't. shouldn't have. i didn't want to be someone else. just wanted to be someone.

just a quarter flipping through the air. heads or tails still undecided. as they would anticipate its decent with open hands.

win or lose. draw or forfeit. i tried to be, but i'm not one of them.

i tried to be needless, but i failed. beause like it or not i needed something.

i tried to be the friend, but i ended up the stranger. they never knew me. neveer really wanted to. because as much as i tried i couldn't be what they expected.