Dark Poetry Prose Poetry April 19, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

04-19-05 tuesday 10:12pm

that sober beast. you're always trying to kill it. but the more you succeed, the more you wish you didn't.

that sober beast. the one who wakes you up in the morning by pushing twigs under the fingernails of your dreams. the one that howls in the night as you lose yourself to premeditated sleep.

i can't see anything except it. as it bears down upon me.

so many beasts inside of us. but she is the fiercest.

every night i cut her throat. and every morning she's ressurected. chews off my eyelids and squeezes her marrow into my bones.

what i wanted to be, i try to forget. what i can. i don't want to.

the sober beast stalks and cowardly i hide.

the sober beast growls and i feel life intravening into my veins. tethered and ruthlessly confined to this skin i was originally packaged in.

coughing up hope. expelling the disease from my lungs. as the sober beast injects its venom. making me alive again.

sleeping tight in cloaks made of disregard. life begs me to love it. but why should i, when it's never loved me.

cold coffin bearing my name. genetic treason.

and then suddenly i knew for sure. my life, it needs me. but i don't need it.

the sober beast was slain. that sober beast was me.