Dark Poetry Prose Poetry May 14, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

5-14-04 friday 9:34pm

how do i know you. only in the sense of how you know me.. how do we love eachother. only in the sense that we love how it makes us feel.

i guess it's possible that even if you gave everything, it still wouldn't be enough. that some hearts are insatiable. swelling like hot tins of jiffy pop. then exploding, spewing their greasy kernels all over us.

if i let a day go by. is that all. or do they threaten to multiply. if we let a day sneak between. is that nothing really. or dark beginnings. if that last kiss was much too brief, shall i shut my mouth and curb my tongue. act as if there were never any better ones. if i know that if we were somehow together, it wouldn't neccessarily be such a good thing. that were our lives to truly intersect it would end up in a lot of hurtful entanglements, why then does it matter if.

it's highly likely that the mind and the heart inhabit vastly different places. that there's two worlds in all of us. and when love tries to be a permanent part of these lives, those two worlds collide and self-destruct.

it seems suddenly obvious that happiness is not unlike these bottles on which i suck. when first opened so full with smiles and easiness. but as i drink it down, time refutes its permanence. and i am left with just one choice. let it be enough. let it happen and end like everything does. or open a fresh one. start the lie all over again.

i know that friday nights see me unlike any other can. like a bird on my window peering through to the life inside. in love with the reflection they suppose i've cast. i know that friday nights, unlike any other, draw a different path into. like mirrors in the distance that you can't understand. you see a person there. someone who looks like you, but they can't.

how does time touch. like a spider in the darkness. unseen bites leave pussy wounds. how is it that time can touch us, but never us her. like raindrops all around . making all of life's colors darker. we feel them, but they don't feel us. vast and capricious they tumble down like unlit lanterns. sour and damp they do surround. make us shiver. make us whince. make the journey back home so much longer yet.

05-14-04 10:12pm

wear your bullets as you see fit. you are the barrel. i am the target. we are all victims of nothing, but our own intent. we are all gawkers at life's profound accident. fireflies in the summer. lighting up the darkness. snowflakes in december begging a white christmas. if for no other reason than the sentiment. if only because some stupid song decided it.

running marathons in your mind, while your body sits idle. attending wakes in honor of every minute that has expired. every minute you let happen and never bothered to give it a noble reason to die. they just killed themselves like all the rest. they always do. so terribly repetitive. life is a playlist. put your favorite songs into it. listen to them over and over again. let the speakers be your heart. let the amplifier be your resonance. as you echo through the bowels of time. like so much excrement.

i could never love like that. even if i could actually believe it. was just in love with the reflection it cast. like empty bottles. like calls that life can't.