Dark Poetry Prose Poetry May 17, 2005 Dark Poetic Prose

05-17-05 tuesday 9:22pm

and furthermore, i refuse to be that kind of friend who answers only because you asked me to. whose questions go disregarded because they simply mean more to me than they ever could to you.

pen on the page. leveling flows of ink. fingers in a feeble rage. labelling my grievances. sorting them alphabetically. filing my pain like clients on hold.

last night i was so certain it mattered what was said. that i'd be heard. i think i was heard. yes, i'm certain i was. you just couldn't be bothered answering my questions.

preacher at the pulpit. perspiring with fantastical verse. all the congregation in rapture. but all you preach are lies.

what i lost, only my certainty. as so long ago i once noted. i couldn't believe my own words then. but now it seems they were the only ones that were real.

what i lost, only my clarity. as your fog lofted down upon. in a world of possibilities, ninety percent of them will turn out to be what you didn't want.

in a world of delicate intricacies. you must be careful which threads you pull on.

05-17-05 10:45pm tuesday

diminishing. as all hours do. forgetting. as all hearts will. what you love tonight. what loves you. tomorrow lays in wait to kill.

i am the toilet which you urinate into.

alll that i've forgiven. all that i could ever feel inclinded. the overflow ensues. as i wonder if i'm right. i laugh and tell myself it doesn't matter even if.

darting clouds and shy raindrops coax disfigured hearts. only because they are just as ugly. only because standard beauty is an affront.

the choir is hushed, but their echoes linger as the preacher stands upon the pulpit. and i am inclinded to sneeze as he begins his sermon. because faith, it makes me feel so allergic. especially when god is involved.

but overall i remember just how you treated me. neither evil nor kind. indifferent. and i look for the indifference inside myself. and keep hoping that i'll be able to find.