Dark Poetry Prose Poetry May 23, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

5-23-03 friday 9:11pm brick NJ

weekend lives,
they barely live
cigarette hearts
burn away so quick;

i'm not asking -
i never really was,
i'm not even saying,
i'm just noticing what's happened,
i'm just trying to understand
this void and the depth
that it brings;

it's easy to watch and
pretend that these past
few years never happened,
like waking up from a dream,
look back in disbelief and
ask yourself was it real;

and you're never quite sure,
memory pleads, but it can lie,
you're never quite certain if
those words they chose were
chosen for a reason or just
found their lips;

i'm not sleepy,
but i'm so tired;
i'm not buried, but
i'm touching the coffin,
trying to get used to the
feel of its permanence
against my skin;

i'm not lost,
but i can't be found;
in the middle of my life
i'm surrounded by
so much ocean -
i saw your island there
in the distance and
i thought that i could
swim to it;

i saw your island
there on the horizon
almost as if i could touch it,
i think that for a moment i did,
but then it disappeared
into a distant sunset.

i heard your words
crackling in my head,
i felt your presense
swimming beneath my flesh,
so alive like i've never been,
but then i woke up from that dream
and i was dead again.