Dark Poetry Prose Poetry June 3, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

06-03-03 8:45pm tuesday brick NJ

i heard the voice. sting my heart another night. fill my mind with the venom doubt. precarious and questioning everything. the voice outside is not that different from the voices in my head. the doubters. the detractors. rhythmic metaphors chanting sublime. off key notes shattering the harmony i try.

i listen, but i don't know. never have. i listen for the words beneath what's spoken, but my own insecurities confuse the translation.

a back up plan is all i might be. a better than nothing. it's not far fetched to wonder if. it's not as if it hasn't happened before. but the past does it repeat itself again? or am i letting those pigeons shit all over genuine monuments? i don't know. i can't ask. and if i don't know. i guess it's better if i just stick with what i do know. err on the side of caution. trust no one.

it was not that long ago that it all was real. oceans kissing sand in a never ending love affair. it was not that long ago. not that far away. in terms of where and when. but years are so different when measured in verse. poetic heart wears its curse brave. stanzas are years. rhymes are forever. i paused for a semicolon and it was almost all gone. i took a sip of reality and suddenly the words would no longer pretend.

i can't believe you, even if i wanted to. i can't trust in anyone's love, even if you decided to make easy.

friend or foe who's to judge. should these words be jury. should all those lapses be contempt. i'm not old enough. i never will be. and i'm not young enough. that time long passed. doubt cuts me in half. insecurity scatters the remains.