Dark Poetry Prose Poetry June 5, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

6-05-04 11pm saturday

hopelesss and lonesome as a friend left behind. all those days before now becoming lies.

doesn't matter what you meant then if you don't mean it anymore. lungs can't breathe yesterday's oxygen. they need it now.

no need for answers when the questions have already decided. save your breath. i know just how this ends.

i won't cry anymore upon these pretend stages. i won't hide these tears inside these pages.

the fact that i'm not wanted i can accept. but being lied to about it. that's something all together different.

i don't mind being used. since i used just as much. just be honest.

tangled streams of fraying dreams briad into my mind. ropes of truth that they create swing nooses in my face.

we're all dying. but some much more rapidly. so much more acute.

sharp angles bisect vulnerable hearts. triangles admit that 180 degrees is all that they have. it ought to be enough, but. there's not enough distance in the world. not enough distance that you can ever put between you and them. not without the benefit of. someday soon. it's all i have left to look forward to.

11:13pm 6-5-04 saturday

it's a cold dominion when yourself is all that you own. stark sovereign as years do unfold.

toys aren't enough to die for. pleasure comes in crippled packages. you take it. learn what it has. and then forget.

toy are just that. distractions. and toys come in all forms. both manufacturered and human sacrifice.

you're just a thing they played with. won. lost. or got bored with. you're just a paper doll they cut out. wondered at the chain. and then ripped in half.

it's hard. alone like this. knowing how permanent. it's the one thing that all life thrives on. the hope that change will forgive us our sins.

but what if it can't. or won't. or just doesn't care. everything changes. it's true. but not always for the best.

toys do try, but never can be anything more. wanted for that moment of pleasure they can provide. then new ones. new ones come along. and everything you were is gone.

i just wonder now why they lied. what i did to them that could warrant such deception. i just think that i was so stupid. so deficient. that it had to be my fault. that i asked for it.

i just can'. can't understand how people could treat others so unkind. why they would even want to.

i guess i must love too readily. always wanting so much to be.

time tried to teach. but what's the use in learning. as it only leaves you that much more hopelesss. wishing you were never born.

to my friends, i say, thanks but you were hardly the best. to those who claimed to care, i say, words are not sufficient. and words are all you've ever given.

i guess it's just me. since other people have. i guess it's just me. that toy they played with. they got bored and then. i could blame them, but what's the use of blaming anyone. i could hate them, but it wouldn't change what i am.

life is meant to be lived. or so they say. but not alone. not like this.