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07-14-05 thursday 10:30pm cartwheel grin.
feet waving in the air and standing on its hands. passive aggressive. tombstone
where your thoughts should be. dancing with yourself. why should you not dance
just because you're alone again. why should these feet not move. these
hands not flail. slapping the air all around them as it reminds how stagnant it's
become. as the moment keels over and pukes up what you've given it. half
digested chunks of your life in puddles of bile. so full of poison that the air
around is contaminated by. so full of everything you are that even time gets so
stoned it can no longer count. just daisies in a child's hand. no implications.
as you stare. just truth in its barest flesh. nothing left to discover. so familiar
with its many defects. it's everything you always knew about yourself manifesting
now. becoming so real. it's the moon falling from the sky. the ocean stalled.
the craters gaping. as much as you prepared yourself for, you couldn't ever be
ready.
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