Dark Poetry Prose Poetry July 24, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

11:45am 7-24-04 saturday

my thoughts precede me. far ahead and looking back. impatiently wondering if i'll ever catch.

my thoughts beat me. like a drunken parent. bitter and resentful of the burden that i am.

and i linger, slowing more. as the gap between us increases, greater grows the penalty for.

i clutch the shadows. and the corners where they are born. terrified of my own thoughts. angering them ever more.

07-24-04 10:57pm saturday

i lost most completely. dandelion victim of their sneeze. the flow of blood is slow as it endeavours to congeal. the arc of life is steep as it attempts to prove its validity.

only there is no proof. only speculation. only the animals laugh at how much we are alike them.

i never thought i had a reason, but i briefly believed i had an excuse. being born is not enough. and dying is not to be trusted.

it's like life is an endless challenge. to cling to that bar. not to drop. for all the ache that comes with hanigng on. at least you know it. know what it entails. but if you choose to fall, you know not. know not what lays in wait.

as if sobriety is some gift. that consciousness can fly like eagles when. as if love ever happened outside the confines of goodbye.

as if i ever needed any of them. or believed. no. just wanted. but. that never is enough.

not now. not then. not ever since. i tried. i really did.

there were just so many reasons to die. and so few reasons to live.