Dark Poetry Prose Poetry August 29, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

08-29-04 9:12pm sunday

how am i now? dead sky drowning in its melting moon. how are we now? same people we were then, only left to live our lives with a blood that craves that poison.

i never lost you. or anyone. only never found them. so lost in my own infection. everything looks like a potential vaccine. anything could be the cure.

how do we part as easily as grey clouds release the sun. how do we part this way and not wonder why the thunder is so lonesome.

it's me. i know it is. but it's not just. and i've plenty of reasons.

it's wonderous how even the events that end the saddest still can contain in their memory so much happienss. i don't believe there's reason in the universe other than what we make of it. and though we often screw up. still we do get it right every once in a while.

there are rivers. rivers everywhere that connect these oceans. there are islands. there are always links, but we decide whether or not to follow them.

it's always sunrise. always sunset. just a matter of whether your eyes are open or closed. there is release. and there is captivity. but the keys to those locks are always in our grasp.

there is love. how we see it. each snowflake that falls infinitely different from all the rest. an endless chain of variables that begs us to solve them.

how am i now? just myself i guess. what i remember of her. that shadow stalking candles when. how was i then? better i suppose because i loved the darkness then. how wide my eyes could be and still only see what they wanted.

how are you now? turned off all those feelings like a light switch. that is, if they ever were on to begin with.

how are we now? these planets continue to make their revolutions around a distant sun. that scarce source of life that we can see exists, but can never prove with touch.

how is it now since all the lights have gone out? and that black city parades in your mind. all full of so many possibilities unseen. all lost in sight as it tries to see.

how am i now? the same i suppose. no different except. just how everyone changes everyone else around them. for better or worse, it has to happen. we were alive, what choice did we have. and we still are. or so it seems.

08-29-04 10:09pm sunday

thanks for noticing. thanks for trying. but there isn't any forest left to be found in this fire.

i see your heart. i know it's pure despite. and that is how i'll remember it.

for everything we disagree on i know there is somewhere they connect.

or even if they don't. that belief is what we've done to it. as human as we are. there's no right. no wrong. just shades of could have been.

leave me to miss you and that's just what i'll do. leave me to ask again why live. why heart's reach for heights they cannot ascend. i don't know. but they must know more than i do. or i hope they do. as i listen.. still listen to their lullabies while i crawl quietly into bed.

i'm not over the feeling of how, but i'm over wanting it. i'm not so strong that i can just dismiss, but i'm old enough that i can accept.

what you were i'll never know. and what i was seems all a cruel hoax. if love exists in these fleshy packages then i just hope. i just hope i've ample postage.