Dark Poetry Prose Poetry September 4, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

9-4-03 thursday 9:13pm brick NJ

don't know when. don't know how. yesterday became this. the future became now. don't know where. don't know why. living became dying. maybe it was always there. just too quiet.

wives and children. friends and lovers. all in the end enemies or reasons not to leave. reasons to die or reasons to live. decide before you lose your chance to make that decision.

let the night stroke the heart. massage it back to feeling again. even if just for this brief moment. just to trade these words with the underlying silence. the kind that you can't hear, but you can feel. blooming inside your heart like a beautiful bouquet. ask every petal if until none remain.

cry your tears never weeping. kill yourself without losing a single breath. breed the sadness until there's no room left for anything else in your life. gouge the pages with the evidence that it may have mattered. collect your days in poetry and prose. something to be found after. not much, but it's all you have.

don't know when. don't know how. everything ended when it never began. don't know why. don't know where to find myself again. or even that i want to. if i ever left.

let life takes its route. low as it may choose. let everything fall into the depths that i have dug. bury it all like stiffened corpses. there is no such thing as life. no such thing as love.

9-04-03 10pm brick NJ thursday

just for no particular reason it happens. sudden and without objective. left pondering thoughts unspoken. touches you didn't revoke, but maybe should have.

myself being someone i hardly know. would never befriend. but we're stuck together nevertheless.

just outside the life you have gathered there's an orchard full of fruits forbidden. there's a jacob's ladder. it can take you up to heaven or down to hell. if you believe in those places. even if you don't, the mind will create them.

i just wanted to say something. just once that really had an impact. just wanted to do something just once that had lasting effects. beyond the confines of this life nonexistant.

trust in yourself to love you. if you can. trust in your family to need you even when you don't. trust in your loves to covet. if you can keep baiting the hook. trust in life to overindulge. make every minute that much more bloated with.

i don't see rainbows. i never have. i only dream when i am asleep. and when i awaken they all turn to vapor. there's only one thing that i've wanted. they just don't understand it. there's just one thing that i've ever asked. it just still hasn't answered. not yet. but someday i expect.