Dark Poetry Prose Poetry September 17, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

09-17-04 friday 8:26pm

i was. am. grains of sand between your toes. shards of glass new skin has grown over. aching to break out. i feel it so very there. pockets in the night where you store your despair. holes in them. once mended. stitches coming loose. brokens threads.

i am the hand you masturbate with. muffled groans. the arc of pleasure's rainbow. self-loathing, narcissist.

i was. am. the leaf in the darkness peering through your window. stroking the wind. in the dance of a thousand deaths.

turning grins like windmills. energy. how quickly it expires. cheating pain. tripwires. grief landmines. tread lightly.

i was that. then i became this. i was asbestos. deceptive poisons. i was rage. lit explosives. but then i became this. eager fuses. wet matches.

friday 09-17-04 9:14pm

older now. so they say. watching quietly while time propagates. not counting. not keeping track. just watching as each sun that is born fades to black.

epiphanies are old news. and friends just flowers on my grave. every tomorrow i promised myself i wouldn't let seduce me, did just the same.

change seems something that happened ocassionally. long ago. some bright red permanent marker i used to write with that's long dried up. change only used to happen cause it was still present in my blood.

older now. so much. every day makes us older, but only the years can prove it. every hour makes us older, but only the years convince us.

i grow suspicious of the darkness as it tends to persue. every detail in my thoughts. as it behaves like a magnifying glass. making a even the tiniest of moments look huge.

isn't that just the way life twists these hearts into knots. one end over the other until you can't even chew them apart.

all i ever wanted was to forget. not remember anything at all. take all those substances like erasers against the blackboard where life works its arithmetic.

older now. all the time. every second pushes deeper into this flesh. every second makes us older, but only the years make it permanent.

every breath we take means another one is gone forever. that much fewer left. but only the years. only years pose that kind of threat.

it's been too long. just like this. endless mirrors.

questions older than i care to remember. hours tripping over themselves. sidewalks wet.

yesterday doesn't remember and tomorrow never forgets. yesterday is blind and tomorrow is deaf.

9:51pm 09-17-04 triday

damn the water. how it emphasizes your thirst more than it quenches. damn the water. damn everything that's ever promised redemption and not delivered it.

i do know why. do know how. just like the moon knows when to appear and the tide knows when to rise.

i had all the answers. to when, maybe and if. i did. cold blankets on the edge of the bed. teasing the ground. still in the shape of your last sleep. hollow catacombs of the life you always meant to live.

fuck the night. fuck it lke a whore and then be done with it. since all it's ever wanted is your dignity. and now it has it.

we're born, but that isn't enough. we're pushed out of the womb by growth's cruel progress. and then we multiply. like ameobas. fractioning ourselves into greater content.

but the moment fled as you reached to take its hand. there's nothing left to hold now. nothing to grab.