Dark Poetry Prose Poetry September 24, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

7:41am 9-24-04 friday

it's my own skin. has been for years. but it's never fit. they're my words. i know this. still it seems the language is foreign.

they're closeness. and they are distance. the kind of opposites that share a common threat.

i held your hand when you offered it. even though i knew i was much more being held than holding onto.

and i let it go when it decided. though i never really had a choice. i let it go without too much fuss. even though i wanted to scream and cry and keep you from.

decisions. when we make them for ourselves we're not just. we're making them for everyone near to us. decisions. they fade and the lives they're altered become.

they're our own lives. always have been. but they're not just.

9am 9-24-04 friday

i always said i couldn't keep you,
only let you choose to stay,
but isn't that always true for all people,
no matter how or when they;

i always told you i'd never ask
for you to stay or to go,
that i'd keep my wishes to myself
and let you decide on your own;

you always knew i couldn't keep you,
only quietly hope you'd choose to stay,
but isn't that true for all people
regardless of when or how they.

9-24-04 2:52pm friday

it's in my hands - in the
creases of my palms
like some cryptic roadmap;

it's in my hands,
but i can't make a fist;
can't keep it there.

it's in your hands too;
in everyone's - everywhere.
the power of life-

to feel. to touch.
to hold on.
to let go of.

9-24-04 friday 8:18pm

closed up in the best sense. sealed. unhollow. a jigsaw of flesh. that final missing piece pushes into the hole. and i am complete.

or i was at least.

wind in skin sheets. resourceful and eager. sweeps through me. intertwining with the existing presense within.

or at least that's how i remember it.

i'm trying hard to remember the feeling, but feelings are a ghostly breed. i'm trying hard to remember the feeling because soon i know it'll have forgotten me.

what's a bird without wings. no different from any kind of creature. what good's a feeling you can't remember. no different than having never been.

09-24-04 friday 9:49pm

i am jasmine. i only bloom at night. i am an apple. i ruined eden.

we are only alive when we're that near to death.

cliffs high above the waves as they are beaten by the rocks. the true measure of your thoughts.

i don't know how i can be here since i'm not. i can't understand how anyone can see me since i'm so transparent. they must only be seeing the residue that's been left behind.

foam on the beach when the tide has long since receded. light sneaking through windows long after their stars have died.

i am a novel. yet to be written. all the chapters lay in wait for their skin.

i am no one. always have been. a light that reaches them from such a great distance. they never realize that the source is already dead.

09-24-04 friday 11pm

it's starts, but we can't finish. it's so tempting to begin. like taking that first drink. it's tempting to begin. but so hard to know when to finish. or if we already have, how we did.

i don't know who they are. who they were. who they'll become. i only know what i remember of. who they were before i lost them.

i write now and then to remember. i don't think the past is to be forgotten. it's something that happened. what we chose then. it's indicative of what we'll choose next.

they'll try to tell you it was all just a misunderstanding. you'll never be able figure out their motives, but you'll be certain that they have them.

love isn't real except when you're so very young. and it doesn't matter then cause you'll outgrow the attraction.

happiness is something only youth and stupidity allow. you can keep wasting your time telling yourself it isn't true or you can learn to live without. it's up to you.

i wanted to remember, but i'm not sure i did. how it felt to have you inside me. how it felt to feel i wasn't empty.

i was trying to remember and i came up with a few images. i put them to the page, but i don't know if they'll save. i don't expect they can save any of what once was me or you.