Dark Poetry Prose Poetry October 4, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

9:18pm 10-04-04 monday

neutral thoughts. beds umade and pillows soft. giving in like rubberbands. stretched too far.

i'm not afraid of the snake. don't fear its fangs. i'm not afraid of being bitten. i'm looking forward to the venom.

it's hard living without some kind of poison. especially when you're so used to it. it's not easy watching those wounds close up. especially when you're so addicted to the taste of blood.

build your stairways if you must. forget the treads. the risers are enough. cause no one's stepping on. they're just counting. counting the distance to the top.

i could've done so much better. not for myself. but for the principles i've clutched. i tried every now and then, but i didn't possess that kind of courage.

i sometimes wish i never knew anything other than the little world i inhabit. it's so much easier to feel sorry for yourself than it is to think about all the people whose gods never did.

there are places saviors are not so scarce. but they're real. not old men that live in the clouds. there are places where salvation is not such a neccessity. where how much money you have doesn't decide how good your life will be.

10-04-04 monday 9:48pm

rain on me. it's been so long since i've partaken of a good thunderstorm. rain on me. and with lightning too. break the sky in half with fire and make the ground move.

catch the night on its last rounds. twirling its baton as. overflowing with power and weakness just like people are. wait for it to fall asleep and steal its handcuffs. forgetting everything we thought was right as we envision what wrong could offer us.

i gave it my best shot. to understand. to bridge the gap. but time is conscious and aware. you can't truly forget any place once you've been there.

rain on us. rain on everything. the colors might change, but the pigment doesn't. you might lose a rainbow, but you'll gain a spectrum.

you never really know what you believe until you're sure of what you haven't. you never know for sure what you've loved until you find out what you can't.

every day the sun pries deeper into these hearts. every night peels back the scabs. there are a million reasons to let it bleed again. and just as many to try to stop it.

memory is the only teacher that we have.

10:54pm 10-04-04 monday

you don't know what i take away from. you can't even imagine. how deep i let the needle thread. how close the stitches come.

as distant as those worlds are, there are telescopes to see them. as far as we drift, there's always some humanity that connects person to person. flesh to flesh. or so the story told is.

strings and atoms all woven in an elaborate mesh. i'd like to believe it, but i still don't see the connection yet.

i'm just wondering how much longer til the bell stops ringing. what really matters. what doesn't.

in your head you have all the answers. but when faced with the test it's not so easy to fill them in.

all your life you've always lived undeer the canopy of what you believed was actually right. and it's not that you don't believe it anymore. it's just that you're ready to question.

it's not that you think you're wrong. it's just that you're not so certain you're correct.

and maybe there's no such thing. only opinions. i wouldn't be surprised if. with so many variables in the universe. how can any one choice be the right one. with so many answers to that one constant question.

it's easier i spose to think that you were wrong rather than to deal with the possibility that you were right.

it's easier to follow the crowd than it is to stand alone decided.

i don't want them looking at me. judging and wondering why. i don't want to explain my choices. cause i know they'll never agree.