Dark Poetry Prose Poetry October 8, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

10-08-04 9:14pm friday

i am an ear.
an eye.
a throat.

i listen.
i see.
i swallow.
and choke.

you are you.
shedding skin.
exposed.

why can't you hear me?
why don't you see?

i'm moving.
i'm screaming.
but i may as well not be.

i am a tiger.
a hawk.
an elephant.

i am hunt.
and flight.
and memory taut.

you are you.
nothing more.
blister on my thoughts.
tumor on my heart.

9:18pm 10-08-04 friday

maybe i always knew. i must have. it was so obvious. it just doesn't matter that much what you know. only what you choose to believe at that moment. to find what you need even if you'll never be found by it.

i guess i was born a receptacle. nothing else i can be. hold whatever is put into. yet itself not held by anything.

following the river that once took us to that place. i find the jungle. thick and dense with pain's vegetation. following the river. as it once followed us. looking for the waterfall. and the rainbow at its hub.

cause i miss the colors. miss the sound. the thunder of. i miss the fear. the threat. the looming edge.

i guess i had to know. couldn't not. i would try to forget. and every once in a while the colors would be bright enough. the rapids so intense. that i was able to pretend. i'd never been anywhere else. and i'd never see it end.

i think i am made of glass because everyone sees right through me. that i once was sand. but then lightning struck. turned me into this. i must be made of glass because i feel so transparent. everything inside for the world to see. they're not looking, but they might.

you woke up and the dream forgot. pruned the trees. cut the grass. and everything that had grown there was gone.

i can't forget how it felt. how real it seemed. can't seem to lose those memories.

i can't forget the flight. wings expanded. i can't forget how high i was. especially now since i've landed.

all i can do is look up and wish i could be that high again. all i can do is remember how it was and wonder why it had to end.

10:44pm 10-08-04 friday

i'm wearing it. like lipstick. all shiny and revealing who and what i've kissed. it's a name. not much more. isn't it. every day wreaks of it. what you had hoped to achieve. all that you didn't.

move me now. like boxes. put your life into them. as sure as we are lost we just as much found. just didn't want to be right now.

pluck me. another feather out of your skin. no real need for them. you'll never fly again. those wings belong to the past now. those flights. they were once yours, but they've been reposessed.

i wore you like a tight fitting dress. unable to move well, but with full access. it wasn't hard to imagine how deep it would go. how difficult it would be to forget. but it stuck to my skin. and i let it. because it felt so good. to be naked yet covered in. to be penetrated.

11:13pm 10-08-04 friday

i let you go just as you did me. not because i wanted to, but there was no other choice really.

at every turn a new road unfolds. you follow the yellow lines until they change. allow you to pass.

but as fast as you drive you always ends up at that same traffic light with those same people right behind.

i know we were supposed to be fleeting. birds in the nest leaping from their trees.

i gave up on you because i had been given up on. tore that page from the notebook and started on the next.

but the pen had run dry and i really didn't have anything to say.

it's easy to move on. but hard to forget where you've been. it's easy staying silent. like a flower turning oxygen to air. but it's hard. it's hard to forget them even when they're no longer there.

11:27pm 10-08-04 friday

you don't remember, but i do. lives on display like mummies unbandaged. all those years and years of decay discovered like empty life rafts on the waves.

you don't remember. don't want to. but i don't have a choice. i felt you. like wings feel flight. and children do youth. unaware of how, but confident in its power.

you don't want. never did. but i do. you never wanted anything i had to give other than. but it's my faiult of trusting.

because life teaches, but cannot force us to learn. because these hearts are weak. and these reasons less than pure.

it's like every minute comes to tell you how the next won't it's like everything you remember was just a dream you believed was real. then you woke up and it laughed at you. then you woke up and couldn't understand why it had left you.

it's everyone i suppose. but some moreso. life is a well, there's water down there. an end to that thirst. but there's also such great depths. such darkness. a bottom you both fear and covet. tug the pulley. see what rises.

touch the stones. swim the edges. smooth. fall. why not. it's just another portion of a long dsecent. it's just another stumble into the same old place again.