Dark Poetry Prose Poetry October 11, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

10-11-03 saturday 10:11am brick NJ

time at the keyboard. somber and brooding. like the shadow of a shadow. a presense no one can see or feel.

time away from it. spent swimming against the current of my own emotions. to go further out into the depths of that ocean between us. to find you at its center. to drown there in this love.

10-11-03 10:23prm Brick NJ saturday

life said it best when it warned us that it had its own agenda. philosphers tried to tell us that happiness is just a chemical induced pehnomenon. cherish every moment of happiness you're afforded before it decides to move on.

why to love. who knows. it just happens. why to risk that kind of pain. just because how good it feels is woth it. if it wasn't no one would. and every life would remain an island. lonley and consumed by endless oceans. the shoreline. the destination is what we seek. not to be there, but just to make that quest. to find the prize knowing it's so glad that you have.

nights might weep because people refuse to. words might escape that shouldn't have. but that doesn't make them less real. it's just so hard to deal with who you are. who are you needing more than you ever meant to.

broken branches leave us no place to perch when the ground is the last pleace we want to be. bending branches we perch upon threaten falling, but somehow it seems worth the risk. just to spend a little time up there with you. just to forget the world below and live as if there's no reason not to give all of myself to this. and almost able to believe that you have.

i can't ask. i can only take what you want to give and cherish it. so beautfiul like a breaking sunrise brnging the world to life again. i've never quite felt this good. this needed. so secure it what you intend.

love has its reasons even if i don't yet know them. i meant to say it. aloud. as certain as i am. i meant to, but it's so hard when. when it matters more than this tired heart can stand.

it's no less real, it's just that love seems such a futile endearvor given the circumstance. it's just that you are just what i want. and all that you give. more than enough, but i feel like it doesn't belong to me. you give it. and i want to take it, but i haven't the right. i love you even though i never wanted it to happen. and when you say that you do i believe it. but why do we. what can we expect. nothing should we. except what we already have. it's more than enough. it's too beautiful to look upon sometimes. it means more than i can ask. my foolish heart. my love too eager. they lead us where we shouldn't go. but once there it's too good to resist. in the nights that separate us i'm ashamed to admit just a few feel like so much. in this situation we've conjured everything i've needed and wanted is answered. i'm just afraid to let it take me. afraid that it can't last. more than the friends we should've been. more is good. my only hope is that when it must be less we can still find a way to remember this. that we'll still be able to find a means to remain friends when that ultimatum demands it.

until then please do love me. and let me love you back. until then lets just let this love find all the happiness that it has for us.