Dark Poetry Prose Poetry October 16, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

10-16-03 thursday 9am brick NJ

ambling hours just beginning
another rotation,
in the cicrumference of
a day your life can
begin again;

multiply the radius of
your trust by the
square of your love and
see if the equations
prove true.

10-16-03 thursday 9:42pm brick NJ

a movement in the darkness. fingers shrouded in memory's garb. dialing only to hear the rings. and then voice mail inquries i havne't the strength to answer. just let another night slip by while friends steadily become less. because every beginning has its end. thre's no debating. it's just a fact.

a bottle or two and then embrace the sheets. empty as they are. they comfort still. cuz i am just as much.

in solitude again i find friends within that had been silent. driving in reverse towards old destinations. in learning all over again how much alone is where i belong. and that where i've ventured is a trespass.

it's not about want. that's always there in every thought. it's not about need. that's ever present. it's not even about love since she's a judas. crucify this heart. perhaps in its death the life can still be saved. build martyrs out of loneliness. create your saviour from the scraps of everything you lack. isn't that just the way that surival happens. until it finally abandons us. isn't that just the composition of life and all those emotions that leach themselves to its bloated veins. i don't need a reason from you. from anyone. not even myself. i don't want to be anything i can't. i'd just for once like to forget for a few moments how pervasive that is. just open that hungry vein and transfuse it with the life you vend. i did. it was too easy. it lived more alive than any other piece of me ever has. and now i wonder have i gained perspective or just pretended it has changed me when i know that it can't. that everything's still the same. sunrise. sunset. all those hours inbetween wishing that they hadn't.