Dark Poetry Prose Poetry October 20, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

10-20-04 8:44am wednesday

goblin sun with a cape of clouds.
the sky bleeds tears
as morning's heart pounds.

10-20-04 8:04pm wednesday

at the juncture of skin and thought,
merging loud and sporadic
like rush hour commuter traffic,
are the aspects of dark and light;
life and survival.

that golden tether hope
keeping us connected to the pole
as round and round we spin
orbitting our own existence.

by and by
reality assures us
we're still alive,
with quaint clock ticks
and days whose names
keep changing;

alone is not a state of being,
it is a condition -
heart pregnant with loneliness.

negotiating your submission
with cold beer and warm cigarettes;

giving in. giving in to this.

it's only the bride of tomorrow anyway
and my heart belongs to yesterday.

10-20-04 wednesday 9:04pm

entry point is noted. exit yet undetermined.

cold festoons of memory decorate the stairways you frequent in your mind.

in sways. in swoops.

beginning is well marked. finish unknown.

partisan hearts won't change their vote.

rivals just lovers you've yet to touch. friends only strangers for whom you've bared too much.

when the end does finally find itself. perched as a vulture on a low branch above the carcass. it's long neck will reach it deep inside where it will consume all you thought was gone.

everythng you knew it was in your power to release, but you kept it hidden.

every piece of waste you couldn't rid yourself of. every organ you never knew was there until it ceased to function.

it's a brave rainbow that dares to eclipse the storm. when everything is grey it wears its colors unashamed.

when everything is bleak and grey it attempts to put color back into the world again. one person at a time.

these pale coloring book lives can't be filled in without recognizing the lines. these pale pages that make up our lives. they need coloring.

they need everything we can give them. and then more.

and then more yet.

9:21pm 10-20-04 wednesday

i didn't think i had the answer. just thought i had the edges of the question put together. only middle. so much middle left.

i used to say when i'm older, but now i don't.

time steadily takes away all those crutches and forces us to walk on our own.

i hate time. how callously it teaches. how it takes everything we love and convinces us to forget.

i didn't think anything was going to change for the better. just thought it wouldn't get any worse.

i think you can have all the puzzle pieces. every one of them. but that doesn't mean they'll ever go together. they don't neccessarily have to fit.

i tried to cope a little too easily and found that coping had become a habit.

i played goalie. and found it didn't matter how many shots i blocked because in that position i wasn't going to score any.

i never thought change was anything except another way of helping the previous year find the next.

if i could part my lips far enough to swallow it whole. i would take it all in and let it sink me deep down into its crevice.

if i could pause my life. rewind it. i would keep going back. hang onto the best.

i never wanted to prove anything to anyone except myself. i guess i did. but not what i had intended.

i guess i proved to myself afterall. even if that wasn't what i had planned.

how easy it is to believe in anyone whose not yourself. how hard it is to accept you're nothing to them.

all the knots you tied were loose on their end. all the bows you made were self-contained.

no goodbye. just empty threads. no meaning to sustain you afterwards. only puzzles you can't assemble.

10:30pm 10-20-04 wednesday

short novenas on rain that doesn't stop.

listening as if you can hear.

braiding the lies and the truth togehter into a pigtail of it doesn't really matter.

broken isn't. just reflections in shattered glass that insist.

wishes that rise like sunset. all orange and diligent. so prepared to overcome the horizon. becuase it is the turning point. it is the measure of your strength. your commitment.

reading. tired eyes decipher cryptogram friends. the key to the code is to realize truth exists as every turn, but we must notice the signs.

have to know what road you're on if you ever hope to get to where you you want to be.

have to know where you're going before you can ever hope to get there.

long discertations unravel like threads. the sweater you woke up in this morning is no longer enough to cover what you wish to keep hidden.

i'm just a freak. the ugly thing you avoid. i'm just a freak. the ugly thing you crave when your life grows tired.

nothing anyone could want. but somehow what they crave. everything's that wrong about. and everything that can be right.

i'm alone not because i want to be, but for the circumstance that supercedes.

i'm alone because the world is hard and i am soft.

it's all right. the butterfly didn't change anything this time. not as far as i can tell.

it might sound funny coming from me. but all i've ever really wanted is to be like everyone else.