Dark Poetry Prose Poetry November 18, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

11-18-03 tuesday 8am brick NJ

teach me this. now again. as if i don't already know how much it hurts when.

time's up. choose your allies. choose your nemesis. or if you like, they can be one in the same.

hate me. you should. cause i do. teach me again. cause i'd almost learned not to remember. show me pain. misery. loneliness. all the friends this life can make. and happiness that ghostly villain. haunting for a moment, then back to its grave.

11-18-03 tuesday 12:36pm brick NJ

it's not that time won't teach me how to love you different. how i should've from the beginning. i know she will. it's just i don't want to. i don't want to lose you.

9pm

it was different when i was the only one in love. had no choice but to accept. try to salvage a friend.

but i just don't see how we can be just friends if we both feel how we do. i don't think that hearts can let go under those circumstance. well, they can, but not if they keep talking. keep that connection alive.

i'd rather just be happy again. like you made me. but no, i don't want to interfere with your life. i just wish that i had something to fall back on, like you do. something besides these somber songs and this bottle's kiss.

when people are in love they can't just walk down the hall and changes rooms. people can fall out of love, but that takes years of living in it. people can fall out of love and remain friends. but they have to fall out first. and to fall out something has to push them.

i guess what i'm saying is that i can try to hold back. and wait for time to work her magic. but that i'm not really believing this can happen.

if we make the space. hold out the silence for a while. we might be able, but we probably wouldn't have a reason to find each other again. and if we stay. try to bear the strain waiting on the moment that everything will change. it will eventually i guess. since everything does, but i don't see it changing to our request. when does that ever happen.

it seems to me we have only two choices. stay. love. risk. or leave. set our hearts free of this love that has captured it. we're friends. always have been, but we'll never be just. i wish. but it won't let us.