Dark Poetry Prose Poetry November 19, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

11-19-03 wednesday 8:26pm brick NJ

my heart beats backward. in search of that feeling you once gave. every minute plays out in my mind another moment that we spent. my skin's too tight. my head too quiet. only the sound of your footsteps slowly taking you away.

you'll never fill me up again. like you did. tidal waves in my blood. life in my skin. and wanting to be alive. so hungry to live.

i'll never know you like that again. there inside me. far below the flesh. so much more than simple pleasure. so much deeper yet. you a part of me for a little while. two separate people unified into one. two lives woven together into the fabric of love.

my heart beats slower since. cause it does not want to move on. i feel nothing now. now that you're gone.

11-19-03 wednesday 10pm brick NJ

swallow your burdens. feast on your emptiness like a fresh kill. let decision be our bullets and happiness our prey.

i always knew that what you made me feel was temporary. but you'll never be able to know just how much i didn't want it to be. i knew that i'd end up the martyr again. and no one likes a martyr except the person whom they sacrificed themselves to save.

pain is tangible. pain such as this. alive as any song is. sure as raindrops are wet. and emptiness is not as empty as it would declare. so full of all the torment broken hearts will inflict. so heavy with all the years a life hasn't lived.

you were there, but you never really were. like a dream you never knew was. when you wake up to realize there's a sudden pocket in your heart. all your sadness rushes out of it in an endless echo. all your aloneness becomes real again. i always thought that i wanted to know. i did, but why like this.

11-19-03 10:22pm brick NJ wednesday

so now we are that which we have chosen to be. circumstance demands and we. so now the only raindrops are those left on the window's glass. shadows of the storm that's passed. ashes of a fire that burned too strong. too fast.

and all that i have felt will surely wither and fade under the scrutiny of. all that i've ever loved will not matter at all when the time comes.

so there we go like two moons chasing different planets. just what we were before that eclipse. just what we shall remain until the next.

if it's a hundred years. or if it's a million. either way you will be missed. this flesh will want you long after it's forgotten how it feels to touch. this heart will ache for you long after it's forgottten how it felt to love.