Dark Poetry Prose Poetry November 20, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

11-20-03 thursday 9:12pm

what do i wish. what do i need. you if i could. but nothing else otherwise. what do i wish. what can i ask. no more pain. your happiness. a pretty song to keep the pace. and every few hundred years a reason to wake.

how do i breathe. how do i dream. mind never quiet. peace always decades away.

how does this silence say so much. in goodbye there is so much love. how does loss give to us. in your absense i am reminded again that life is only for some.

well, you didn't have to, but you did. just enough to have me feel the loss when you left. i never asked you, but you chose to. just enough to have it hurt when you.

i guess i'm wrong, but i'm not sure exactly how. i know i must be wrong, but i don't understand it. cause nothing's ever been right, so how am i to distinguish. nothing's ever been right, so how am i to tell the difference.

11-20-03 thursday 9:54pm brick NJ

listen. listen like you really can. like a breeze above the ocean collecting stray sand.

take your morality to bed with you. see how it satisfies. take your loyalties like a vaccine. see if they purify.

i don't have a question. don't have an answer. i just have an admission of guilt. and million feelings telling me it doesn't matter. that trials are for criminals. and i've not commited a crime. that juries aren't peers. and peers none have i. i don't have a plea. i'm neither innocent nor guilty. i just fell in love with you. i've been trying to climb back out, but the walls are so steep.

and i don't want to make friends. not again. i want to love you. to be loved. why must i forfeit my happiness again. why does love always ask me to choose. always ask me to opt for their best. and why. why do i always give in.

i'll speak. i'll listen. i'll pretend that it isn't. but all the while i'll be wondering why it did. i'll walk, though i'm broken. i'll befriend though i need so much more than. it's just i thought you were the one person who wouldn't make me have to choose this. it's just i thought you were the one person who wouldn't make it so hard. but it seems no one is. guess i was wrong. no love ever really loved this heart. and if nothing is gone, why does it feel like i've been robbed. why do i feel so taken when i haven't moved an inch.