Dark Poetry Prose Poetry November 22, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

11-22-03 saturday brick NJ

what exactly is right? was it right to let this progress just far enough so that it would hurt when you decided it had to stop.

you knew. and so did i. difference is i was willing to to accept just what it could be and all that it couldn't. i never wanted more than was fair to ask. difference is your timing was pretty bad. you had plenty of chances to be the better man long before it would have to hurt this bad. i should be angry i guess. with myself for being naive. with you for taking advantange. with myself for thinking your words were true. with you for not admitting sooner.

i guess i could've put a stop to it myself. but i honestly thought that was the last thing you would want.

i guess i know now just what right is. whatever is in your own best interest. that makes sense. i really do understand. if i were you i might not choose any different. just don't know why, why you always knew and saw fit to wait this long to say it. it could've been so much easier if it hadn't gone so far. i guess i always manage to find it. new ways to break my own heart. i just believed you when you said you'd never let that happen. more than the hurt, i'm just really disappointed in how we let this play out.

more than concerned with loss. or the delicacies of the heart. i just don't care about anything at all. more than wanting to have a little love in my life just once, i'd rather just except the nothing. quit trying to be what i am not. tired of trying to obtain things i never can have.

and i'm sorry if i made it hard for you. that decision you had to make. and i don't know if you chose the right one. that's not something i can judge. i'm sorry if i complicated. and i just hope in your heart you feel you've made the right decision and that you come to find you have.