Dark Poetry Prose Poetry December 2, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

12-02-03 tuesday 8:45pm brick NJ

swollen hearts. all infected with the kinds of viruses you thought you were immune to. broken hearts. all cracked. in places you were sure were much stronger than any hammer life could wield.

isn't it sad how the sweetest things have the shortest lifespan. isn't it sad to think that all that we cherish is balanced on scales all too accurate. no mercy in weights and measures. no solace in these beaten paths.

and as tomorrow looms cold and ominous what can any one person do except kneel down and beg. supplicate the gods of time and circumstance. and hope that judgement will not be harshly passed.

i thought that yesterday was the worst. but each day finds a new method to be that much more of a burden. i thought that i could just let it lie, but i can't. none of this should matter, but it always has.

it was wrong from the start. it's not going to suddenly become right. anything i've ever felt has never had a good place to be. why would it this time.

12-02-03 tuesday 10pm brick

you get used to. like anything that is. like the taste of the sun on the horizon all purple and filled with satin. you get used to with. get used to without. just wait and it will happen. you thought that it was forever. your heart cried that it could never, but it lied. it always has lied about.

you get used to. as easily as. the good things. all the bad. you do. never thought you could, but it happens. and once you have you sit and wonder at. at how everything beautiful turns ugly in the end. how everything you thought was true lied to you.

tomorrow won't be kind. it never is. hold those tears back. it's all that i can do. listen. resist the urge to ask. answer. deny the urge to question. because what could it prove. now that we've been all through. because what is there left to lose now that everything is forsaken.

if love is a lake then i am the stone you skipped across its surface. if love is a lake then i guess the shore is all we have. throw your stones. beg your absense. but what can i do besides accept. toss your reasons out like vampires. bleed this. drain it. but what then. how pale. how empty are these veins that.

if it could've been, well, then it already would have. and since it's not, i guess the answer's quite apparent. if it could've been it already would've happened. but it hasn't. so i lay my heart down to sleep and wish it good dream. and hope that the nightmares won't awaken it until it's forgotten what we've been. i'm willing to die for you. once. twice. a thousand times. but not without a reason. i'm willing to suffer because, but not alone. not just because this has happened.

tomorrrow or after. or whenever it should decide to offer. even if never. you have no right. you have no excuse. you chose long before i ever made an impression upon you. so lose. lose because you want to. i will let you. because that is what you choose. i will let you. because time is heavy and hearts are weighted. but most of all because it's just not something that can be debated.

so i love you. who cares. so i loved you. what does that prove.