Dark Poetry Prose Poetry December 4, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

12-04-03 thursday 9pm brick NJ

only fools believe what other people tell them. only love can make us so naive when we know so much better. only yesterday knows who we are. and tomorrow who we're just pretending we can.

the night tastes sweeter with the kinds of beverages that turn alone against itself. let us forget briefly how it is. the night will linger quietly over clouds of disdain and metaphor. as those toxins spread through eager blood and a poet is subdued again. lying humbly under the thrusting words as they come.

it's golden like a dream that never stops. each time you open your eyes and close them again it returns as if you're only unpausing a movie. strange and wonderous worlds you almost wish you could actually live in. all the danger and the magic of seems a perfect antidote to this dreary reality's abode.

only music can speak without a word said. a language of the unconscious. a rhythm of the most primitive sense. only sound like a fury pounding hard against your heart. a million needles of sounded feeling shooting their pictures under your skin. and suddenly you're tattooed with. so permanent.

only each of us knows who or what we truly love. and never for another to be certain of. because life would be nothing then. because love would have no meaning if it were so easily proven.

the night does me favors as i fill her full of this hopeless quest. drowning her in sorrow's nectar all sticky sweet with sadness and forgetfulness. no tears. nothing except the music humming through broken rhymes. and the knowledge that yesterday knows everything we should've been, but tomorrow is just pretend.

and when you try again to love. be it us or something else. if these hearts ever recover they'll not be likely to ask again. if yesterday would allow. if tomorrow can supply. if love ever lived it was long before i met her. if love ever lived it was in my arms that she died.

12-04-03 thursday 10pm brick nj

homeward bound as you are. i watch disconnected now. how you return. like a bloom closing. all those raindrops wasted. all those moments that cheated. like laughter without a smile. like here without a now. i could be forgetting, but it's not time yet to. i could be hating, but i'm still learning how to love you.

it's as simple as you can make it. this that and all the reasons you have. i can't argue with. i can't betray those sorts of commitments. you always knew that. and how you used it.

much as i can forget. much as i can keep that distance you're still too close. it isn't fair. and maybe it shouldn't be. life being unfair i can accept. you i can't. life being unkind i can deal with. you i can't.

if another morning should arise all pink and contrived like novels at half price in the barnes and noble. a million ways to say the same thoughts that we already have. it's not that it isn't beautiful. it's just that's it's so old. so used like deflated tires. pump them full of all that you have left to trust. but it breaks again. clean and sharp like the blade of a knife. what can love mean in these empty moments. what can friends be when the end is so apparent.

you can blame me if that's what you want. you can hate me if that's what you need to feel.

i know what it is. what is was. all those marks that it missed.

i know it's not as simple as. but then again. maybe it's more obvious than i could stand. rod of lightning impaling my methods. that touch so sobering. that voice all too absent from my movements. i would if we could, but since we can't i'll just leave it up to you. whatever you should decide i'll learn to live with. like i always have.

maybe i don't like it. maybe i'm not happy like this. but when have i ever been. maybe time doesn't forget. like we do. maybe flesh still does fret long after that contact. and castles fall. and songs applaud. how stoic we are. when life demands we take the podium and lie like. i could confess, but you know i won't. i could break down but it's not likely to happen. and when your world decides that it's seen all the sights i hope that you stilll have a reason to look up again.

only fools love that which was never theirs to begin with. and maybe i'm a fool, but i'm a fool who has learned their lesson. only love asks questions that can't be answered. and maybe i did too, but i know now. i'd rather leave them. i know now, i don't want to have.