Dark Poetry Prose Poetry December 17, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

12-17-04 friday 9:15am

impatient hours pace my mind,
of both days to come and
those gone by;

tomorrow plays its songs so loud,
that i hear the music of years from now;

and yet today, the present tense,
lips upon its slender flute,
it holds its breath.

9:12pm 12-17-04 friday

outside. the sun has closed its eyes. gone to sleep. and the moon. and the stars are what she's dreaming.

outside. the colors are all gone. transparent rainbow hangs in its helpless arc.

how much the games play us more than we could ever play them. stealing time. or giving it away like unopened presents.

so much life tends to live us more than we can ever hope to live it. killing time. or at the very least crippling it.

i remember all of them. and exactly how it felt to feel as i did then.

need only close my eyes and let the music speak. to put myself right back there where we used to be.

the feeling never leaves. only supressed. chained up like prisoners in the dungeon beneath my breast.

they rot away down there. beauty grows ugly in the darkness.

10:30pm 12-17-04 friday

too many hours. symphonic as they are. a cacophony of instruments. an orchestra of doubt.

only tomorrow knows what this life does not. tedious rope filling up with knots.

only memory serves those sweet pastries sublime. pies with tender crusts full of fruits piquant. warm and moist.

your hunger not your catalyst. merely a side effect.

the scent so much stronger than any other of your senses.

i've forgotten why. misplaced how.

now the words fall like dominoes. just a chain reaction. the first to topple the only one that matters.

all those that come after only shadows. ghosts of how it began.

11:23pm 12-17-04 friday

so. such simple words prevail. as you stumble through your life.

lurking like a shadow on the outskirts of.

there's no answer for you to find.

just more questions to create. that is your gift. your burden. everything you think you know you doubt. every moment you've answered for you beg to differ.

wondering. could it have been different.

of course it could have. don't be naive.

all those moments. all those people.

a million ways it couldn've turned out. but in the end it was the same.

hold onto those nights as if they were your last. they just might be. funny thing is, would that they were, i'd have no complaints.

cranking hours like engines. with little gasoline. hungry. and dry.

i miss you. miss everyone i ever wanted.

but i can't go back. can't change who i am. nor the decisions i have made.

they were right then. even if now they leave me feeling so wrong.

i meant well. it was the best i could do.

i tried not to harm you. i tried. always meant to give more than i took.

i failed sometimes. i know this. but i never wanted more than i deserved. i didn't.

only wanted something i could never have.

all these years dropping anchors.

they didn't want me to stay.

all these years serching for.

they didn't want to be found.

i didn't then, but i get that now.