Dark Poetry Prose Poetry December 26, 2003 Dark Poetic Prose

12-26-03 9pm friday brick NJ

half of what you are. quarter of what you were. seventy five percent of nothing multiplied by anything is still the same. zero. empty. like where we came from. like where you're going. like every step you take.

teach me not. let me learn you. cuz all my lessons leave me so much less than i ever knew a person could be.

hold me yesterday. and forget today. tomorrow will abide us. for she is whatever we can wish of her. unreal, but beautiful. like actresses and fake boobs.

love me how. how can anyone. love you as if it meant anything. knowing every moment we shared was slicing its own wrists. it bled into my heart until everything was red. it bled into my life until it was an ocean. and all i could do was tread. tread there in place in the middle of that crimson ocean and wonder when these legs would give out and drowing would set in.

half of what i was. half of what i imagined. put them together and pretend that a whole ever happened. multiply your moments by the construct of your purpose. zero times anything is still the same. empty cannot be filled. it only multiplies. empty cannot be sated. it just consumes whatever you give to it.

love me how. should i believe that. love you when if ever would it be right.

half of how we are. half of who we thought we could be. take it all away. incomplete. we're nothing. empty. because empty can never be appeased. the more you try to fill it the greater if grows by degrees. because empty is everlasting. and love just a passing dream. because empty goes to the core of who i am. and love is just a drama that sometimes happens.

love me how. love me why. love you when if ever would it be right.

12-26-03 friday 10:20pm brick NJ

i drink alone. like everything that i do. laugh alone. cry alone. no place for anything in this life. cause it's so full of emptiness.

i drink alone because i. because alone is how. laugh. smile. cry. no one knows.

live alone. die alone. isn't it obvious why.

i drink alone because that's what i am. all that i. i drink alone. because i laugh alone. and cry that way. because i fuck alone. sleep alone. live alone. and that's how i'll die.

so why shouldn't i. why shouldn't i drink that way too. i don't know you. you're just a stranger arcing in a an old friend's flight. you're just a rainbow stealing colors from rain that fell long ago.

i drink alone because i must. i laugh alone. cry alone. everything happens this way. every moment obstructs the passage of the next. so full of nothing that i can hardly believe they ever find a way to happen. yet somehow they do. alone with time. alone with these bottles. these tears that no one knows. i forget why i'm crying, but i know there's a reason. i forget why i am alone like this, but i know that it's much more real that anything else is. i forget why i ever smiled, but even alone sometimes it still happens.