Dark Poetry Prose Poetry December 29, 2004 Dark Poetic Prose

8:56pm 12-29-04 wednesday

no time like now to look around at the world ad see what parts of it are looking back at you.

now. there cradled to your breast. sucking the life right out of you like a starving infant.

everything i thought i knew. all those answers i filled in that they marked as correct. they're wrong now.

same questions. same answers. but they're wrong. i'm wrong. always really have been.

all those people i never could quite trust. i'll never know whether i was right to disbelieve or if my disbelief was the cause of.

all that love they offered me. i couldn't see it so i didn't believe. i'll never know if any of it was real or if it was just a slight of hand.

no time like now to kill yourself softly with a bouquet of tears. to look out into the world and see it looking back. never knowing are they smiling upon or laughing at.

12-29-04 wednesday 9:45pm

friends. they come like rainbows. after the storm. with their bounty of colors. and their false treasures to chase.

i'm only alone when i'm trying to be with someone. cause i know that i can't.

i'm only lonely then because i know i don't mean anything to them.

the past only a scar. old wounds long since gone.

the future just a nightmare i can't wake up from. demons in head.

and now. now doesn't mean anything at all.

12-29-04 10:04pm wednesday

time sews its stitches in these lives. hemming. making things fit.

we shrink from. and into we grow.

spend your youth being too young. and your adulthood being too old.

and when you finally have the chance to sit back and assess what's happened you realize that nothing has.

it's all been just moments that lead up to this one. rung after rung of lies on a ladder that goes nowhere.

i just can't help feeling i wouldn't feel so alone if i'd never known any different. can't miss what you've never known. or can you?

a million songs and tv shows to tell you all about what you need, but don't have.

time hems these lives accordingly. as we shrink. as we grow. soft stitches in the fabric of feeling.

as naked as you feel, theere are shadows that protect.

it's loneliest when there's someone you thought would be there. who isn't.

loneliness is not a symptom of being alone. it's the side effect of someone who has left.

lonely isn't my disease. it's my only friend. now that all those others are gone again.