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hopeless as the last leaf in autumn when all the rest have already fallen

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Dark Art

your eyes slit these wrists and kill me so much better than i ever did

knowing life is a scab, a crusty, bloody seal of a wound. and wanting so much to pick at.

Sad Poems
by the alcoholic poet.

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"road"

photo taken really really early on a saturday or possibly sunday morning in autumn/winter 2002, lanes mill road, brick township new jersey.

used on april 2003 page.

Far Behind by Candlebox

' Now maybe I didn’t mean to treat you bad
But I did it anyway
And not maybe
Some would say your life was sad
But you lived it anyway
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside they watch you crumble
As you falter to the ground
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying
Oh you were flying oh so high
But then some day people look at you for what they call their own
They watch you suffer
Yeah they hear you calling home
But then some day we could take our time
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us
But you left me far behind
Now maybe I didn’t mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say you’re left with what you had
But you couldn’t share the pain
No, no, no
Couldn’t share the pain they watch you suffer
Now maybe I could have made my own mistakes
But I live with what I’ve known
Yes maybe we might share in something great
But won’t you look at where we’ve grown
Won’t you look at where we’ve gone
But then someday comes tomorrow holds a sense of what I fear for you in my mind
As you trip the final line
And that cold day when you lost control
Shame you left my life
So soon you should have told me
But you left me far behind
Now maybe I didn’t meant to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say you’re left with what you had
But you couldn’t share the pain
No, no, no
Now maybe I didn’t mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
No maybe some would say you’re left with what you had
But you couldn’t share the pain
I said times have changed your friends
They come and watch you crumble to the ground
They watch you suffer
Yeah they hold you down
Hold you down
Maybe brother maybe love I didn’t mean to treat you bad
But you left me far behind
Left me far behind
Left me far behind '

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sometimes i think it would be nice to be fragile. then maybe once in a while someone would be gentle

i feel so lost, especially when the sun shines, that it accentuates how dark, how dark is my life.